Hahaha..... laugh makes perfect days...

What has no beginning, end, or middle?

A doughnut.

What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?

A chalkboard

What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?

A candle

What starts with a T, ends with a T, and has T in it?
  teapot.

Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white," or "The yolk of the egg is white?"
Neither, because egg yolks are yellow...hahaha

Which moves faster: heat or cold?
Heat, because you can catch a cold

You answer me, although I never ask you questions. What am I?
The telephone

A Man walked up to his house and he heard his wife scream " John Don't do it!" and the man ran inside and saw his wife, dead on the floor. Around her was a Baker, Milkman, and a Doctor. The man goes up to the Milkman and says "U did It!". How did the man know he did it?
The baker and the doctor were both women and John the milkman was the only guy.

How is it possible to shave three times a day and still grow a beard?
If you were a barber, you could shave other men three times a day and still grow your own beard

What has holes but holds water?
A sponge

David's father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and _____ ?
David

What kind of coat can be put on only when wet?
A coat of paint

 What object has keys that open no locks, space but no room, and you can enter but not go in
A computer keyboard

What questions can you never ever answer with a "yes"?
What time is it?
Are you sleeping?
Are you dead?

Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
Beacause they have scales!

What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains?   The sea!

A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet...how come?   He was bald.